Christmastime with extended family can be challenging! And if you have a relative (or two, or three) that you consider more naughty than nice, it’s often hard to have a “holly jolly Christmas.” However, Christ does call us to do what sometimes seems impossible to do. In Luke 6:27 Jesus says: “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.” Also in Matthew 5:24, we are told to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us.
But really—enemies? Hate? Persecution? These are strong words to consider alongside parents, siblings, and cousins. Unfortunately, these awkward emotional pairings do exist in many family relationships and often tear apart over the holidays.
So, when it comes to Christmastime with family—strained relationships and all—how can we make this time with them more merry than miserable? Here are three tips!
1. Replace bickering with a blessing
Although there may be tension in the air with a few of your relatives, give it your best shot to put past frustrations aside for the sake of others who truly want to enjoy the Christmas season—without arguing. Rather than dwelling on the history of hurt within your ranks, consider ways God has blessed you over the years. Stay on the positive side by intentionally thinking about all the goodness God has placed in your family members’ lives (and your own), and then share those reminders with your relatives and friends. A few examples might sound like: “You have great organizational skills! It’s amazing how you balance so many things with kids and work all year long.” Or, “Tell me how your job is going. What do you like most about it? It’s such a blessing that we have jobs after so many changes in the culture over the past few years.”
2. Plan a few outings
Before you leave your house to head toward Grandma’s (or wherever you’re meeting up with the fam.), look up “things to do” in that area. Make a few plans for your time together besides staying cooped up in a crowded house.
These adventures could be as simple as going on a hike on some local trails. Or you may choose to visit the local Christmas Village (or outlet mall) to browse around for a bit. These types of activities will give you other environments to enjoy, as they provide good distractions while you’re managing time with those who may not be as easy to get along with. It’s a win-win for everyone!
3. Give grace away freely!
The best gift you can give this Christmas (to some of your hard-to-love family members) is forgiveness. In fact, Jesus—the very reason for this Christmas season—came to Earth to provide undeserved forgiveness for the sins of your relatives and for you! Surely, this allows you the ability to show grace toward others who may not deserve it either.
Remember this Christmas season—everyone makes mistakes. We say and do things we would love to take back, in hopes they would be forgotten and especially forgiven. Perhaps this year is the time to do just that for someone else—including those in your bloodline.