When you’re a child, you think of your parents as old—but not so old they cannot take care of themselves.”
With the holidays comes time spent with family members, some of whom we have not seen in a while. And the realization often shocks us when we notice changes in our elderly family members’ ability to function as we have always remembered.
When this time comes, families are left with the decision of what to do and how to do it. While assisted living facilities are one option to be considered, sometimes it’s ruled out due to finances, or concern for the welfare of the elder member. This is usually when one person is chosen to become the primary caregiver of their loved one.
CAREGIVING CONSIDERATIONS
The function of caregiving is like none other. If you see this responsibility coming your way soon, I’ve listed a few things below that you will likely experience.
I advise you to ask for guidance from God and other friends and family as you take on this tremendous task. The day-to-day duties can easily consume you in so many ways if you don’t have the Lord’s hand of mercy, and the support of family and friends behind you.
Likely changes to your routine:
Sleep
If you’ve ever been a parent to a newborn baby, you can testify to the life-altering exhaustion that it brings due to your own sleep deprivation. Similar to that stage of life comes while caring for a terminally ill person in your home.
You’re on-call throughout the day and into the dark hours of the night. Whether the loved one needs to get up to walk and stretch their aching body or take medication, you’ll be up with them for this activity. No sleep for the weary! Just as it’s true for parents of new babies, it’s best to nap while your loved one naps and do your best to sleep at night whenever s/he sleeps.
Money
Even with the help of insurance, there are many additional costs that come whenever you bring another individual into your home to live. You may not realize the costs adding up at first, but it happens. Even though the person you’re caring for may stay home most—or all day long—they still need food to eat, water to shower or bathe, electricity for lights or medical equipment, and medications and medical supplies. All of these items cause bills to add up quickly.
Time
Just as when a baby is born into the family, your time is no longer your own. Depending on the severity of your loved ones’ illness, you may only be able to get away for extremely short periods of time to run quick errands for necessary supplies or groceries. The freedom you once knew to come and go at leisure is limited since caregivers hold the primary knowledge of what the loved one needs, and is often the only one home to care for them throughout the daytime hours.
Energy
Taking care of a loved one in your home requires a tremendous amount of energy and planning! Your hours are consumed with taking care of your normal household and family duties plus the additional food shopping and prep for the person you’re caring for. Additional laundry and cleaning come into play as well, since those who are sick or disabled tend to soil more garments and bedding than you may have had otherwise. All of this additional work around the house brings about the need for more rest time for the caregiver.
Isolation
Caregivers can quickly become isolated since it’s so hard to get away from the house and responsibilities that come with this role. It’s vital to one’s sanity to stay connected with friends somehow, even if that means having them come to your home for a few hours instead of you meeting up with them elsewhere. Do this if at all possible! It will provide a means of emotional support as well as the enjoyment of the friendships that you desperately need during this season of life.
Consider matters carefully
Caregiving is a high calling and an intensely stressful season of life. Although difficult in so many ways, it provides the opportunity to show unparalleled care and attention to loved ones in ways that were perhaps never imagined for kids or parents alike. You may not have the ability to care for a loved one in your home. She may need to stay in a care facility—and that’s ok! Talk with other family members and definitely pray before making this big decision.
God will give you the strength to manage the healthcare of your loved one as you seek Him through the process.