As a newlywed (almost two years), I’m the first to admit that I am NOT an expert on marriage. There are certainly more individuals who are wiser and have MANY more years under their belt.
But when I was newly engaged—so eager and excited to start the next chapter of life with my fiancé—I was given a lot of helpful advice that I have found to be so life-giving in my marriage.
Want to succeed in marriage? Try these tips that have helped me:
Don’t stop dating each other
It’s what started your relationship, why do we stop doing it? Comfort, for one. We get comfortable with our spouse (which is a good thing). But don’t get so relaxed that complacency becomes the norm. Self-satisfaction is a silent killer of relationships. Not only does dating your spouse make them feel pursued and desired, but it shows appreciation. Whether it’s once a week or once a month, make it a priority and make it happen!
Challenge yourself
Do something every day to pursue your spouse. A great book set with ideas for both men and women is 31 Creative Ways to Love & Encourage Her and 31 Creative Ways to Love & Encourage Him by Jefferson and Alyssa Bethke.
Learn his/her love language
Communicating each other’s love language is not only being intentional with your spouse but it is making sure their “love tank” is full by communicating how they most feel loved. Are words of affirmation what makes your spouse feel encouraged? Write him a sweet note on a post-it or text a compliment to him! If her love language is “gifts,” leave her favorite candy when she didn’t expect it just to bring a smile to her face. It doesn’t have to be expensive gifts! For more information about the love languages, take this quiz to find out your own love languages as well as learn that of your partners!
Be involved and excited about things your spouse cares about!
You may have no knowledge about the subject, but if it is something your spouse is passionate about, you will communicate care for them when you show enthusiasm about their hobbies!
When my husband is really excited about something—even if I have no interest in it whatsoever—I will attentively discuss what he loves about it, showing excitement over his enthusiasm and passion. I might even try his hobby or learn more about it to show that his interests are important to me.
Say “I’m sorry” often.
Grace, grace, and more grace. We are both sinners coming together to love one another as Christ loves us, and some days it is really hard. Apologize when your pride is telling you that you shouldn’t have to (even though you probably should). Respond in love, instead of reacting out of anger.
Remember, your spouse is a gift! Do all you can to cherish your time with them and then watch your relationship succeed in many special ways!