There’s always a lot of buzz about teens and their use of smartphones and social media. Most of us have heard horror stories about cyberbullying, “sexting,” and other risky online behaviors.
For parents, this information can feel overwhelming. How do we compete with the powerful lure of “likes” on social media platforms such as INSTAGRAM®, Snapchat®, and Facebook®?
As a parent myself—raising three teenage boys, I admit there have been days I wanted to empty the house of all media devices and just be done with them. But over time, I have realized the powerful, positive influence technology can have in my children’s lives. So before we throw the baby out with the bathwater, let’s take a look at the facts.
Observe the Downside:
- Safety – Thirty-nine percent of teens do not enable their privacy settings on social media
- Exposure – The average eleven to eighteen-year-old spends eleven hours a day exposed to electronic media
- Sleep Disturbances – Increased time online leads to less sleep and more irregular sleep
- Academic Impact – Study time is inefficient due to multitasking between homework and online communication
- Sexual Behavior – High frequency of smartphone use has been linked to increased sexual behavior, both online and offline
- False Self – Teens may be tempted to present a false version of themselves to gain popularity and “likes”
Create an Upside:
- Talk to your teen — Studies have repeatedly shown that parents are the number one influence when it comes to teen drug and alcohol use, sexual behavior, academic success, and faith. Your teens ARE listening!
- Set expectations — Have a daily time limit for smartphone and other electronic media usage. Some parents write a contract with their teens regarding the use of their cell phones. This is a great way to set clear expectations.
- Have “off” times — Because of the effects on sleep, have your teen turn in their phone to you at a certain time each night. It’s easy to set an automatic ‘Do Not Disturb’ feature on it as well, to cut down on the temptation of kids wanting to respond to every text notification that’s heard. Have family times or activities where cell phones are turned off or silenced (this includes you too, Mom and Dad!) This will increase positive communication with your kids, and let them know they are worth your undivided attention.
- Know passwords — If your child has social media accounts, know their login and passwords. Also, know the passcode to get into their phones. Admittedly, trust is very important to teenagers. I tell my teenage sons that I will not go through their phones or online accounts unless I start noticing a pattern of concerning or questionable behaviors in them.
- Send your child encouraging messages! — From a simple, “I love you!” to funny memes, you can use technology to build a positive relationship with your child. Use technology to your advantage!
If you are concerned about your teen’s online behaviors, there’s an app for that! Actually, there are many apps for that, as well as software products that help you manage your child’s online life. See this article for several apps to help with the safety/security of your kids. Here are a couple of notable ones that help in monitoring cell phone use as well as location of your family member:
- Circle® — this product intercepts your home Wi-Fi™ and allows you to set time limits on your child’s phone usage, filters for inappropriate material, and can be installed on your child’s phone so your settings go where they go!
- Life360 — Have a driver at home? This is an app that monitors your child’s whereabouts and driving behaviors (accidents, speeding, etc.)
One thing is for certain, technology is here to stay! But as parents, we have the ability to teach our children the importance of online safety, as well as healthy time management. Let’s use this time while they are at home with us to teach them these essential life lessons!